Letting Go
by Burned So Bright
Summary: Elsa finally allows herself to let go. { WARNING: Contains triggers and major character death. }


I ended up writing this on a whim and at midnight. I hope you guys like it. Feel free to leave a review!

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><p>She wasn't there. Elsa always knew when Anna was there, sitting soundly outside her door. Whether it was a subtle thud against the door as the younger girl rested her back against it or the sounds of her breathing, she'd always hear something that indicated that Anna was there. But this day was different. Elsa should have known this was coming. Anna's visits were becoming shorter and erratic. Some days she'd come, some days she wouldn't. This never struck Elsa as odd, but it should have. Because today was the day that she wasn't there, that she didn't come. Elsa stood a few feet from the door, staring... waiting. Waiting for anything to indicate that her sister was there. Anna was all that she had left. Even though she couldn't quite see her, Elsa depended on Anna's visits. She needed to know that her sister hadn't given up on her. She needed it. Elsa needed to know that Anna still loved her and missed her. It was the only thing keeping Elsa alive.<p>

She waited, and waited at the door. She didn't move an inch as the time passed by. She just waited. The sound of footsteps approaching made Elsa surge forward in hopes that it was her sister, but as they came closer, it became apparent that there were two people walking through the hall and that neither of them were Anna. Feeling defeated and empty, Elsa returned to her bed and curled up into a tight ball. She tried to will herself to sleep, but there was a storm of thoughts in her head keeping her awake. As tears brimmed in her eyes, icicles began to form on the ceiling and along the windowsill. Once her eyes finally landed upon them, anger began to bubble up inside her. Not only at herself, but at her power. It was the reason she had to lock herself away. It was the reason Anna got hurt in the first place. Why was she the one who had to be cursed? Why couldn't some other child have to deal with it? It was destroying her.

Rising swiftly from the bed, Elsa paced around the room. Her anger only caused more snow and ice to form in the room, resulting in her anger escalating. But then she stopped, just beside the window. She turned, and faced the door. She was going to do it. She would leave her room and seek out Anna, tell her everything and beg for forgiveness. Half way across the room, something stopped her. There was an angry voice inside of her heard. "_Do you really think that Anna will forgive you?_" The voice asked, the tone used was no more than sinister. "S-she has to," Elsa stumbled across her words, speaking quietly to herself. Anna would forgive her, right? She would have to. They were sisters. Sisters forgive each other. The dark voice laughed, "_Would you forgive Anna if you were in her position?_" Elsa wanted to believe so very badly that she would forgive Anna and welcome her back with open arms. But she knew, deep down, that if she spent all those years alone and left in the dark, it would be hard to forgive her sister.

Elsa wanted to shrink into herself or melt into a puddle right there on the floor. But then a thought popped into her mind. "Anna is open-minded and forgives easily," She protested, a little bit of hope in her voice. "She'll listen to what I have to say. She loves me." At that statement, the voice that was in her mind went quiet. The minutes that ticked by before the voice spoke again felt like an eternity to Elsa. There was a hint of sympathy in the voice as it mumbled, "_Oh, Elsa_." There was a brief pause. "_How could Anna ever love a monster like you_?" It took a moment for the statement to fully register, but once it did, it felt like a knife had been plunged into her heart. **A monster like you**. The words that she was going to speak in her defense lodged in her throat and tears began to swell in her eyes. "_Anna doesn't need a monster like you,_" The voice whispered, followed by a sickening laugh. She barely felt the tears as they streamed down her cheeks. Nor did she notice the snowflakes falling around her in small flurries, or the ice making its way across the ceiling above her head and the floor underneath her feet. It moved out in beautiful swirls, but she didn't notice. Her eyes were solely locked upon the door.

"_Why don't you end the monster yourself?_" The voice casually prompted. Had Elsa been fully listening, she would have heard the giddiness seeping into it's tone. But she wasn't. She was lost in a sea of her own thoughts, which were getting dark and darker by the second. There was feeling of emptiness in her chest which was growing along with the darkened thoughts, as if the two were connected. "_It's not like she would notice you were gone_," Again the voice was prompting her, trying to get her to do it. To end her life, to end the monster raging inside of her. Elsa felt completely numb by time she finally made up her mind on the subject. Barely aware of her actions, she moved over to one of her dressers and opened up the bottom drawer. After a little bit of searching around, she finally uncovered her hidden dagger. It wasn't actually hers, but her father's. It was given to her as something to remember her father by after her parent's funeral, which she hadn't attended.

Elsa slid the knife from its sheath and spent a minute just looking at it. It was a beautiful weapon. The seal of Arendelle was carved into the wooden handle, along with her father's initials. She turned the blade over in her hands, her eyes scanning the sharp edge. A small frown appeared on her features. Did she really want to do this? Did she really want to end it all and leave Anna all alone? "_Yes, yes!_" The voice greedily answered for her. "_You'll finally be free, Elsa._" Free. It seemed like such a foreign word to her. She had never been free, not with the curse. She was always locked away in her room, like a caged bird. There was a brief time that she had been free. That was before the accident. She remembered being able to run around and laugh and play. If she did this, she could be free. Free of fear, of pain and most of all, free of _the curse_.

Standing, she turned away from the dresser and took a seat along the edge of her bed. Elsa neatly rolled up the edge of her sleeves up to her elbows. Starting with left arm, she raised the dagger and rested the tip against her inner forearm. She paused for a second once she realized her hand was shaking and forced herself to calm down. Her eyes closed and her jaw clenched as she sliced down her arm, a hiss of pain escaping past her closed teeth. She didn't open her eyes to see the blood swell in the gaping cut, but she could feel it as it began to run down her arm. Elsa repeated the action twice before shakily switching over to her right arm and repeated the process there, as well. Once it was all over, she let the dagger slip out of her fingers and allowed her eyes to open. She tried her best to avoid looking at the mess of blood, and she let herself lay back against her pillows. The voice that had been in her head was soothing her, telling her that she had done good, that she would be free soon.

She just had to let go.

Let go of the past and all of the pain.

Let go of Anna and of Arendelle.

And she did.

She let it go...


End file.
